It's been a long time since I last posted. For a while I didn't know what to think of what was happening. I was sad, worried and angry. But over time, I've come to terms with this spring and I have even found that I am lucky. I've learned a lot in that time, as an athlete and a person. Sadly many of these lessons have occurred because of stupid events that would have been easy to stop, but they happened and now there is nothing anyone can do about it, but just keep chugging along. One of the scariest things that can happen to an athlete is becoming injured, and when it comes along scary thoughts creep into your head: what it this is the injury that ends my career? What if I can't get better? But in the end, everyone will get injured. That's life, mistakes happen. But what I'm learning is the elite are the ones who take advantage of any situation. It's taken time, but I've come realized that good things can happen from this hard time.
To back up a little bit, my injury I'm talking about is a dislocated shoulder. I've dislocated it 4 times this spring and the majority of these incidents had very stupid causes. I'm not pleased with these, but then again, sometimes the best way to learn is the hard way. And I definitely learned from my mistakes here. I also realize how lucky I am, because I can keep on training (running and rollerskiing with no poles) and these activities will benefit my training. I don't need surgery, and through Physical Therapy I'll learn how to get my shoulders stable again, through time.
But I don't like that last part: through time. I have never been a patient person, which has sometimes been a flaw of mine. I'm already itching to get back to 'regular' skiing, and it takes a lot of restraint to not let myself push too hard. I strive to get better everyday, and slowing down, hurts. I felt like (and sometimes still do) that I was losing the battle, and I wasn't succeeding. But I'm learning how to become patient, take time with my injures, and let them heal fully so I can be even stronger in the future.
I never would have come to terms with this on my own. I've had so much help from my friends and teammates in finding the positive, and making sure I didn't do anything stupid while I was still sorting things out in my head. But now I'm stronger. And while I'm not thankful for what has happened, I've accepted it, and I'm looking forward to the gains I can still make this summer.
|I couldn't race in the 1600 at Sections, but I got to cheer on my teammates!|
|These girls did a nice double pole workout while I did a no pole skate: Still had fun!|
|Meagan and I on a 14 mile trail run|